The Business of Being Born Message Board

Baby’s Birth Date: February 2, 1986

I’m the fifth of eight children all born to the same mother and father and we were all born at home, not in a hospital. This is a fact that I am now very proud of. As a child I was very proud of this, I thought my mom was a super hero because she was able to do this. But whenever I have told anyone about it, they almost always are astonished and unnerved by my parents’ choice. I was told how dangerous and careless my parents’ choice was.
Why would anyone not give birth in a hospital?

By the time I was ten, I had received so many negative responses from so many people that I became embarrassed of this truth and for the next ten years kept it a very close held secret. I began to think my parents were crazy.

About one year ago I began studying to become an EMT, during which we learned how to assist in delivering a baby. It was over the course of those two weeks in class that I discussed childbirth with my mother for the first time. I asked her how she could have all these children at home and without pharmaceutical intervention. Her answer not only amazed me, it empowered me.

For ten years I thought that the only reason my siblings and I were born at home was because my parents were hippies and didn’t have insurance (the insurance part is true, but not the reason behind their choice). But my mother’s real reason for home delivery was something different altogether. She began talking about the feminist movement and its pros and cons; she told me about the process of being pregnant and giving birth in great detail (she is a nurse, so she knows her stuff). She went on to explain why she thought women have the most amazing bodies, far superior to men. We deliver life. We are given the responsibility of literally and physically bringing the next generation in to the world (of course men play a paramount role in this, but she was speaking only about the body: pregnant and in labor).

Why would anyone want to numb this amazing gift of power that God has given us? My mother spoke about each and every one of her children’s births. She spoke of the differences and how happy she was that she was able to bring all eight of us into the world the way she wanted. That she had the power to deliver us even though it hurt. She was happy to feel every ounce of discomfort.

She concluded by saying that in all her life she has never felt more feminine or powerful than she did when she gave birth to her eight children. She said that on a spiritual level, she felt a connection to every woman who has ever given birth in the history of this earth. She felt humbled to be apart of something so beautiful, so pure.

Why would anyone want to be numb during this powerful feminine moment?
After my LONG (4 hours) conversation with my wonderful mother I now know that I want to give birth to my future children in the most natural way possible.
Thank you Mom.

P.S. On a funny note, we have a family dog named Daisy who my mother has despised since my brother brought her home. She never wanted to be anywhere near our loveable American Pit Bull. This year we decided to breed Daisy and over the course of her gestation, my mother really grew to respect her. On April 19, 2008, Daisy gave birth to three pups (one later died), and since then my mother loves Daisy and always tells her what a good mother she is. My mom now always asks my brother what she can do for Daisy. I think my mother has found a connection with Daisy through the process of motherhood!