The Business of Being Born Message Board

Q: As a rape survivor that has gone through the healing process, I am still not comfortable with the idea of men being in the delivery room during my most volunerable state, is homebirthing a viable alternative to avoid that uncomfortable situation of having male doctors and staff present?

A: The psychological consequences of your unfortunate history may impact on your birth in many ways. Many women who are survivors need a bit of extra support in the pushing stage. They need as few vaginal exams as possible, and sometimes they may even be helped by an epidural. There is no way of knowing exactly how you will respond to labor. It is best to do some psychological work before labor with a competent professional. I would follow your intuition in terms of deciding who you feel safe with. That being said, I do know that if all is well in your pregnancy and you are a good candidate for a homebirth, you will be given the appropriate amount of time that you need to dilate and push a baby out in that setting. Giving birth is a physical as well as psychological process. There are also many very sensitive female providers, Midwives and Ob-gyns in hospitals that can enforce a policy of no vag exams and will try to enforce no men in the room, unless they don’t have a choice. You may not be able to ensure this because there are alot of hospital employees and they can’t all be female. I have had quite a few women who are survivors at home and if they start out, as it sounds like you are, having done some healing work, they will do much better, no matter where they are. So great good luck.

Cara Muhlhahn, CNM
Cara Muhlhahn Midwifery, New York