The Business of Being Born Message Board

Birth Story: I loved this movie. It reinforced why I chose to have home births. I had my first daughter, Erin, in 1980 in a small rural hospital in BC, Canada. I spent most of the night laboring on my own and was given an episiotomy I feel to this day. When pregnant with Jennifer, baby # 2 I was told about a midwife who attended home births in Edmonton Alberta and we welcomed our 2nd daughter to the world in our own home with people we chose to attend. Our mothers, our friends, our midwives and…. a film crew. Baby # 3 was born in our own bed in BC, Canada. Our midwife flew up from Victoria BC and quickly became a beloved figure in our lives. Two dear friends came for an overnight visit from 70 miles away the night before I went into labor and stayed for the glorious event. I will never forget our friend’s children (8 all together) filing in to welcome our baby Emily to the world. I cry every time I tell the story. And Emily is still beloved by all who meet her. Baby # 4 was born in the hospital where my first daughter was born. Now it was 10 years later and I knew a whole lot more about what was important and integral for me to birth happily. I made sure I had my close friends with me. My children were waiting in the family room to welcome the new baby, hopefully while she was making her entrance. I waited as long as possible and walked most of the way to the hospital. I had a 3 page birth plan which my physician had read carefully and signed. The hospital had a copy. We were left to labor without interference. Jill entered this world surrounded by love in as natural a way as possible in the setting we were in. Her sister cut the cord, all of her sisters watched her find me, find the breast and latch for the first time. We stayed overnight and were ecstatic to return home. It was as good a hospital birth as it could be, but how I loved our home births. How empowered I felt giving birth where my children were conceived, how natural a progression to labor, give birth and finally to rest with my family all cuddled up around me. There is no hospital that can be that for a new family.
And there is no one I trusted as I trusted the midwives who blessed us with their presence and their wisdom. I have never forgotten them and they have not forgotten our births. And while I had a natural birth with my first child (except for that damned episiotomy) I felt disconnected from myself and my life. I felt a stranger birthing in someone else’s space. I entered a pregnant woman and left a mother. I felt discombobulated. With our home births I felt connected to my family and to women worldwide. I felt a belonging and a rightness. I felt trust. I was home already. This is perhaps what I would wish for every woman. Trust yourself. You know what is right for you. Even though I didn’t have the homebirth that I wanted with my 4th baby, it was because we didn’t connect with the midwife who was available. She didn’t trust me so we chose the physician who did trust me and who I trusted in turn. And we had a wonderful birth. We need to honor what we know.

Blessings