The Business of Being Born Message Board

Q: Hi there, I have watched your film twice, once by myself and more recently
with my husband. My husband gets very squeamish even thinking about a baby coming out, but when watching the homebirth segments of the film he was in awe; however, during the hospital birth scenes he felt stressed just watching it, I think that says so much about the different experience
one can have giving birth at home or at a birth center vs. the hospital.

Your film has educated us so much on birth options, I am currently 4 months pregnant. I had always wanted to have natural childbirth, but never knew that there were options other than the hospital.

I am currently under the care of a midwife at a birth center (she no longer does home births). She had to refer me to an OB for a consult because I had some risk factors, i.e. cone biopsy in March, hypothyroid and sleep apnea. She said it shouldn’t be a problem, etc. I went to the OB who I drove 1.5 hours to see sat around in a room for an additional hour and then never got to see him as he was called to an emergency. He did have his nurse meet with me to let me know I would not be a candidate for the birth center mainly because of my sleep apnea. I am extremely disappointed, I would sit and day dream about how my experience would be peaceful, loving and less stressful, and now I am fearful of having to give birth at a hospital. I am going to hire a doula to assist the birth and be the communicator between me and the hospital staff to make sure my birth plan is followed.

Do you have any suggestions as to coping with having to give birth in a hospital setting? My main concerns are being pressured into being given pitocin and c-section. I would appreciate any feedback you might have.

Sincerely,
Corrine M.

A: Dear Corrine, Congratulations on your pregnancy and on your search for options and support.You are right, your husbands reaction is a great indicator of what feels good to you both.

I am sorry you cannot have the Birth Center birth that you were hoping for. There are many ways to make your hospital birth a positive one. Choose a Hospital that has a low cesarean rate. Try to find a hospital that has a midwifery program. Having a nurse midwife in the hospital is a wonderful alternative for women that cannot have a Homebirth. The CNM’s work closely to the OB’s but are able to provide a gentle and personal care throughout pregnancy, labor, birth and postpartum period.

You mentioned you are hiring a doula and that is another fabulous option. Take a good childbirth class that explains about your options and that can assist you and your husband in having a clear idea of what your wishes for the birth are. You can have a nice, clear and short birth plan that will allow the hospital staff and your careproviders to know about your wishes and
preferences.

On another note, staying open and flexible to the experience and the many lessons that are already coming from your journey is already a gift. Open mind and open heart usually lead to an open cervix!

All the best,

Ana Paula Markel ICCE, CD(DONA)
Certified Doula, Certified Childbirth Educator
DASC Director of Public Relations
www.apmarkel.com