The Business of Being Born Message Board

I am an expecting first-time father. My son is due in just under 3 weeks. My story is quite complex, but here’s my partner’s version from her blog, which is much more eloquent in her words:

Posted July 27, 2008:
“My original plan was to give birth in Wyoming using the (only) midwife in town as my birth support. Unfortunately Wyoming has pretty poor support of midwives, doesn’t certify direct-entry midwives, and hospitals require CNM (certified nurse midwives) to have back-up support from an OB/GYN. My midwife here (a CNM) lost her back-up doctor earlier this summer when he decided to move to a different part of WY. At first it seemed that the other two OB/GYN’s in town would agree to a financial deal with my midwfe and be her back-up support. However, we found out about a month ago that they changed their minds because they perceive they will have higher liability. This, at least, is how my midwife explained it to me. I do not know what she will do. Barring a new OB/GYN coming to town who is more supportive of midwifery, she has effectively been banned from delivering babies in Wyoming.

And where does that leave us? We have few options. We could choose to have an unassisted home birth in Wyoming. We could try to find a midwife who would help us have a home birth in Wyoming, but if anything went wrong, we’d be on our own at the hospital or the midwife would be faced with all sorts of condemnation for trying to assist us. We could choose to use the OB/GYN’s in town. Or, we could go someplace else to have our baby.

The first two options really aren’t viable for us. The third seems equally unappetizing for a couple of reasons. One, I wouldn’t be able to choose who would actually deliver our baby. I would get whoever was on-call that day. One of the OB’s has a very good reputation, but I don’t know much about the other. Two, I am very resentful of their choice to pull support from my midwife and don’t want to reward them for that choice by giving them my money! I feel like they are making a financial decision and taking away the choice of women in this community to have the type of birth they want! And with an average rate of 1 in 3 pregnancies in the U.S. ending in a c-section, I just don’t want to go that route unless I have to. So, that leaves the last option - go someplace else.

Luckily I have found a wonderful midwife in Montana (where midwives enjoy a greater degree of support than here), who is willing to work with women from Wyoming. I’ve only met her a couple of times, once for our initial consultation and once for a childbirth class and already feel so much more support of our choices to bring our child into the world in the best possible way. She even has a home/office that doubles as a birthing house for out-of-state clients. This will actually give us the opportunity to have a home birth supported by an experienced midwife and her apprentices with a hospital only a few minutes away if one is needed. I feel so lucky to have found her!

Logistically, this will all be way more challenging. We have a 5 hour drive to reach the midwife in Montana. Hopefully, it is obvious that this won’t be happening while I’m in labor. Our plan is to leave at least a week before my due date (mid-October) and to find a place to stay until the baby makes his appearance. Then we’ll head back home to Wyoming. We’ll be keeping an eye out for signs that labor is approaching and will be ready to leave earlier if we need to. We’re still working on where we will stay during that time. Our other logistical challenge is our choice to live without owning a car. Typically, we would borrow a friend’s car, or rent one. However, with not knowing exactly when we’ll need to leave, or when we will return, this makes such an arrangement incredibly complicated. Luckily for us, we live amongst an amazing community. Since Eric and I both work for NOLS (National Outdoor Leadership School), we have been readily accepted into that community. It just so happens that for most of the winter we walked by a parking lot everyday filled with the cars of NOLS instructors. Each fall (Sept-Dec) there are a number of instructors who go out with a course for the entire semester and their cars sit here unused. We’ve made an offer to these instructors of “renting” their car for the period we need it in October. Before the final draft was even emailed out, we already had one offer and within hours of the emailing being sent we had several responses and at least one more potential car available to us. It really is quite overwhelming how kind people can be!

Both Eric and I are quite up-in-arms about the midwife situation in Wyoming and in the U.S. in general. There is such ignorance out there, even among the medical community. Home births have been proven to be just as safe as birthing in the hospital for low-risk women. High-risk women are transferred to hospital care by most midwives, where they can receive the specialized care that OB’s are trained in. With so many things to think about at this point in my pregnancy, I haven’t found the time, or energy, to pursue any but the most basic advocacy of midwives. I am planning on doing so in the future. Both Eric and I are encouraging folks we know to watch The Business of Being Born for more information on birthing in the U.S. today. Click on the picture of the video to the right to go to their website, or if you have a Netflix account you can watch the video on your computer and request a disk be sent to you. I’ve seen it twice now and highly recommend it for anyone thinking about having kids.”

We’re much closer now and all the pieces have pretty much fallen in to place: pre-labor housing, transport to MT, etc. No worries except for the prospect of an early arrival…especially one that starts before we leave for MT. YUCK! So, that’s our pregnancy story - I’ll post the birth story later.

Now to why I am the one posting here:

This whole process started for us and we found our MT midwife BEFORE I saw BOBB. After seeing it and given our situation, I have become irate about the situation in WY and the similar ones all around the US. I am not a vocal advocacy type…more of a sabre rattler and a behind-the-scenes oil-in-the-machine type. So, the place my heart takes me immediately is to becoming a midwife myself. I am ready to dive in, but I don’t see any open doors in the US midwifery community for a male who is passionate about and focused on the health of women, children and families. Male midwives are common in other countries, if only because the demand is so high that there simply aren’t enough women with the interest to support all the mothers seeking support. Not quite the case here in the US, yet. If this movement takes off, the problem will quickly become one of too few experienced, qualified midwives to support the number of expecting mothers seeking a hospital-free birth. Where do I get started? I have basic medical training (for advanced wilderness emergency care) that I know is a solid foundation for beginning my obstetrics education. Can anyone out there help me find the path? I want to help!!!

I am an expecting first-time father. My son is due in just under 3 weeks. My story is quite complex, but here’s my partner’s version from her blog, which is much more eloquent in her words:

Posted July 27, 2008:
“My original plan was to give birth in Wyoming using the (only) midwife in town as my birth support. Unfortunately Wyoming has pretty poor support of midwives, doesn’t certify direct-entry midwives, and hospitals require CNM (certified nurse midwives) to have back-up support from an OB/GYN. My midwife here (a CNM) lost her back-up doctor earlier this summer when he decided to move to a different part of WY. At first it seemed that the other two OB/GYN’s in town would agree to a financial deal with my midwfe and be her back-up support. However, we found out about a month ago that they changed their minds because they perceive they will have higher liability. This, at least, is how my midwife explained it to me. I do not know what she will do. Barring a new OB/GYN coming to town who is more supportive of midwifery, she has effectively been banned from delivering babies in Wyoming.

And where does that leave us? We have few options. We could choose to have an unassisted home birth in Wyoming. We could try to find a midwife who would help us have a home birth in Wyoming, but if anything went wrong, we’d be on our own at the hospital or the midwife would be faced with all sorts of condemnation for trying to assist us. We could choose to use the OB/GYN’s in town. Or, we could go someplace else to have our baby.

The first two options really aren’t viable for us. The third seems equally unappetizing for a couple of reasons. One, I wouldn’t be able to choose who would actually deliver our baby. I would get whoever was on-call that day. One of the OB’s has a very good reputation, but I don’t know much about the other. Two, I am very resentful of their choice to pull support from my midwife and don’t want to reward them for that choice by giving them my money! I feel like they are making a financial decision and taking away the choice of women in this community to have the type of birth they want! And with an average rate of 1 in 3 pregnancies in the U.S. ending in a c-section, I just don’t want to go that route unless I have to. So, that leaves the last option - go someplace else.

Luckily I have found a wonderful midwife in Montana (where midwives enjoy a greater degree of support than here), who is willing to work with women from Wyoming. I’ve only met her a couple of times, once for our initial consultation and once for a childbirth class and already feel so much more support of our choices to bring our child into the world in the best possible way. She even has a home/office that doubles as a birthing house for out-of-state clients. This will actually give us the opportunity to have a home birth supported by an experienced midwife and her apprentices with a hospital only a few minutes away if one is needed. I feel so lucky to have found her!

Logistically, this will all be way more challenging. We have a 5 hour drive to reach the midwife in Montana. Hopefully, it is obvious that this won’t be happening while I’m in labor. Our plan is to leave at least a week before my due date (mid-October) and to find a place to stay until the baby makes his appearance. Then we’ll head back home to Wyoming. We’ll be keeping an eye out for signs that labor is approaching and will be ready to leave earlier if we need to. We’re still working on where we will stay during that time. Our other logistical challenge is our choice to live without owning a car. Typically, we would borrow a friend’s car, or rent one. However, with not knowing exactly when we’ll need to leave, or when we will return, this makes such an arrangement incredibly complicated. Luckily for us, we live amongst an amazing community. Since Eric and I both work for NOLS (National Outdoor Leadership School), we have been readily accepted into that community. It just so happens that for most of the winter we walked by a parking lot everyday filled with the cars of NOLS instructors. Each fall (Sept-Dec) there are a number of instructors who go out with a course for the entire semester and their cars sit here unused. We’ve made an offer to these instructors of “renting” their car for the period we need it in October. Before the final draft was even emailed out, we already had one offer and within hours of the emailing being sent we had several responses and at least one more potential car available to us. It really is quite overwhelming how kind people can be!

Both Eric and I are quite up-in-arms about the midwife situation in Wyoming and in the U.S. in general. There is such ignorance out there, even among the medical community. Home births have been proven to be just as safe as birthing in the hospital for low-risk women. High-risk women are transferred to hospital care by most midwives, where they can receive the specialized care that OB’s are trained in. With so many things to think about at this point in my pregnancy, I haven’t found the time, or energy, to pursue any but the most basic advocacy of midwives. I am planning on doing so in the future. Both Eric and I are encouraging folks we know to watch The Business of Being Born for more information on birthing in the U.S. today. Click on the picture of the video to the right to go to their website, or if you have a Netflix account you can watch the video on your computer and request a disk be sent to you. I’ve seen it twice now and highly recommend it for anyone thinking about having kids.”

We’re much closer now and all the pieces have pretty much fallen in to place: pre-labor housing, transport to MT, etc. No worries except for the prospect of an early arrival…especially one that starts before we leave for MT. YUCK! So, that’s our pregnancy story - I’ll post the birth story later.

Now to why I am the one posting here:

This whole process started for us and we found our MT midwife BEFORE I saw BOBB. After seeing it and given our situation, I have become irate about the situation in WY and the similar ones all around the US. I am not a vocal advocacy type…more of a sabre rattler and a behind-the-scenes oil-in-the-machine type. So, the place my heart takes me immediately is to becoming a midwife myself. I am ready to dive in, but I don’t see any open doors in the US midwifery community for a male who is passionate about and focused on the health of women, children and families. Male midwives are common in other countries, if only because the demand is so high that there simply aren’t enough women with the interest to support all the mothers seeking support. Not quite the case here in the US, yet. If this movement takes off, the problem will quickly become one of too few experienced, qualified midwives to support the number of expecting mothers seeking a hospital-free birth. Where do I get started? I have basic medical training (for advanced wilderness emergency care) that I know is a solid foundation for beginning my obstetrics education. Can anyone out there help me find the path? I want to help!!!